IN Carmel

 It was full of stuff and loved just being out and about...BUT.  I burned my bridges having fun.  So much to do and such interesting stuff to do.  So today I'm home and I think the rain and cold should keep me out of the flowerbeds and in the house.  At least that's my hope.  No bridges left to burn.   Yesterday started with getting ready for Easter at church with garden shop visits. First, back to Marvin's on the way to Dayton for the Easter surprise added to the Visual Arts supplies..  Flower shop and  big box visits  mean visiting flower places to see what is there to buy for the altar knowing that it's a bit early in the week and I'll visit again when it's ready to buy time.  Goodwill got a donation.  The oriole feeder got loaded with grape jelly meaning a stop to buy jelly at Kroger's. Fresh oranges on the wires for the orioles  The blue bird house got a keep out squirrel chicken wire protector...I hope. My neigh...

 The habit of writing in the morning is one that has helped the day begin.  So even though I wrote last night about the weekend, it would seem that the morning habit is hard to break.  So...once again, the weekend was a gift in ways to many to count.   The house is very quiet.  It's time to reflect but more importantly begin again. Today will see a trip back to Marvn's to deliver to church a wonderful addition to the visuals we are using for Easter.  I'm not saying what because I hope to keep this quiet from my visual arts friends who will be Eastering the sanctuary Saturday morning..  Surprises coming.  Friend Ray H. made this happen.  In the mean time Holy Week with the Last Supper service Thurs. evening and then a video message retelling and reminding us again of the Good Friday events.  We must walk through Holy Week to get to the third day, Easter.  I would imagine there will be walks through our back yard today, looking f...

Family gone for now.  It was a wonderful Sat. Sun and Monday The house was a buzzing with all 5 grandsons and for the most part both sets of parents around most of the time.  Lots of words.  Lots of card playing.  Lots of outdoor work on a very cold Sunday.  Trees trimmed, flowerbeds raked and just doing and then doing some more.  This cook prepared well and the food was great and lasted for the whole three days with a little extra that now will fill a few more meals. Once again the freezer is empty.   Sat. night included a sleep over with all 5 grandsons finding a place in the living room.  I went to bed early.   Sunday the adult Russell's took a field trip to the Pottery Shop in Broadripple.  Potter Karen made our communion wear at church.   Karen and I have become great friends.   Potter Jared and Kimmy Russell spent a lot of time talking clay, glazes, shop space, firing processes and more.  It was s...

Temperatures.  They continue to make it possible to be outside.  That's my favorite place.  So...once around the yard and then another time and more times  I choose not to count.  Surprises everywhere and my jobs for the family diminished a bit. Staying out of the flowerbeds was a struggle I didn't deal with entirely well. But there is still trimming and raking and lifting and more to do.     I messed in the garage, blew it out again and the garbage bin got some contributions and now more space for garden things.  We'll be cutting branches from a few trees.   That always seems to be what Russell's do.    I did a last minute clean proving to myself and to the FAMILY that I still "have it".  Mostly me probably which keeps me moving along.  Last night was the second great sleep night.  Doing that "read" before bed seems to really be working.  I'm learning but better yet...I'm remembering.  I think!!...

 Remember this from  some time ago?   Don't worry, THINGS take the time they take. Don't worry.  How many roads did St. Augustine follow before  he became St. Augustine.    Yesterday morning  a part of these words  starting with THINGS take the time they take, came to mind.  I hadn't thought often of St. Augustine in the days since surgery but yesterday those words seemed to be right in front of me.  Why did my thinking bring that message to me for a yesterday message? I think I know...So now some THINGS.  So the road  toward healing is called radiation with chemo possibilities to still be determined.  Unless there is a real change in my body, it probably won't happen.. But it has not been completely ruled out.  A visit to my dentist, since it will be radiation of the head and neck will happen on the 29th at 12..  Teeth among other necessary above the shoulder THINGS are important to monitor and pr...

 Living with hope makes life livable.  Gardeners are great hope holders.  Hope that it rains at the right time.  Hope that the weeds don't over take.  Hope that the newest plant makes it through the summer.  .  Hope that the deer once again will not eat the beans...Hope that there will be a harvest of great tomatoes.  Life's  experiences can be filled with hope.  The hope that there would be enough flour happened.  There was enough.  I thought of the Children of the Promise Land filled with hope that the oil in their lamp would last 8 days..  Hope brings more than enough.   Yesterday the flower beds received a few touches.  Still more to do but this year spring is here early. Time is on our side.   Raking and pulling and finding surprises filled some of the day.  Baking was finished and there is enough food in the freezer for all.  Stella went with me once again on an evening walk.  ...

 Life gives us many opportunities  to start over.  It could be called grace.  The getting started part might be the biggest stumbling block to over come.  But when the getting over part is finished light comes once again.  Monday there was a stumbling block but one that was pushed aside with the help of a friend bringing light. The block was removed but not forgotten if one is to remember and learn.   Yesterday...yes...getting ready for a family visit meant that a trip to Aldi's was necessary.  This time I hopped in the car and off to the grocery.  My first trip solo not really thinking through the process.  I shopped and shopped and then to the check out station not remembering that I had been to the drugstore, using my credit card and then leaving it in the car, not in my purse. I call that surgery fog I was warned about.  So  off to the car to get the card.  In the parking lot I heard a voice call my name...

It's a choice.  Have you ever wanting something and got nothing.  It happens.  That was a gift that came my way yesterday.  The nothing part but I wanted something.  It was at the top of my list.  Sunday I wanted nothing.  Yesterday I wanted something.  And I got nothing.  Frustration with tears flowed until a good friend walked along side.   It was mammogram day with an additional ultrasound morning.  And when the results came, the nothing results were covered with tears.  I wanted something.  The nothing was the better choice for me. During the waiting time that comes with doctor's visits, I read in a magazine for cancer patients the words that Friends are here for healing.  So with lots of questions unanswered because I was talking to a mammogram/ultra sound doctor and not a cancer doctor, she heard my frustrations and gave as many answers as she could and finished with a hug.  What a wonderful doctor cam...

 Last Monday my thinking process brought me the message...get on with your life.  The medical answer problem needs to be put on my shelf for now.  I can't speed the coming of those answers and life on hold just isn't good for a whole lot of reasons.  The results of that has been an amazing amount of energy bringing a bushel load of fun.  Garden dirt, finding blood root,  weeds and two garbage cans full of landfill offerings ready for pickup..  I found lettuce yesterday.  It's peeking through barely but it's there.  Thanks be to God for new beginnings. It is a gift for the mind.  I'm planting red beet seed today.  This morning, what was on the shelf is now in front of me again.  It's another mammogram.  This week could bring an answer but then again...maybe not.  The goal is to keep my thinking in the right place regardless of  negative thoughts that might come.     Yesterday was church day.  I...

 A little work in the garden was out there To Do.  Strange how this works.  I say time to quit and then 30 minutes later...it's time to QUIT.  Gardener's thinking...just one more little job would make this look so much better.  Yesterday I talked about thinking. Some gardeners do a whole lot of defective thinking when the spring weather calls. It's called forgetting to quit and planting seeds to early among other things.   The herb garden was liberated from a lot of beginning weeds.  Woo.  Parsley is back, Cilantro is back.  Other plants to numerous to mention are back.  A lone little lettuce plant made it through the winter.  More seeds are in the ground but waiting for warmer weather.   All of the teas planted in pots are back.  They are the warriors of the garden.  Got to keep them in check!  That's a huge To Do.    Sweet Annie continues to get dug OUT  among other things.  S...

 That's a great habit...Thinking.  I'm thinking about family.  A whole bunch will be visiting next weekend.  So...when the house moves from just us two to a total at different points to 13...I've got to do some thinking.  Some things need to be moved out...Some things need to be pitched out and all of that helps my mind to stay focused on thinking.  It's a great exercise, thinking.   So the house is pretty well ready and this next week the thinking will be about making easy meals ahead of time.    I've done that in the past and I can do that again.  It's just finding the old groove.   Our Michigan family always seems to want a project or two when they come.  And believe me there have been many projects way to numerous to mention. The last one was the toilet!    Yes we have a new one never to be replaced again.  Some of you have seen it's  picture as it sat in the front yard.   Next w...

 The weather got a bit stuck yesterday...Rain and wind and then more rain and wind with March temperatures.  Well...what should I expect...It's March.  It's always a little of this and a little of that and then a whole lot of both.  Makes April feel like a breath of fresh air.  The good pain continued at a healthy clip.  That's gardening leg pain from two days ago.  Such a reminder of what will be the good, warm, sunny, long outside days to come.  I need to buy a few more seeds to add to my stash.   Yesterday was a day with the electric throw blanket.  That was a very good place to be with thanksgiving reminders that the body continues to move toward feeling healed. .  For now...it's not stuck!!!   When it does get stuck, hot showers help relax those muscles that tighten.  And do they tighten.  Messing around with neck lymph nodes can be irritating.   An additional fact which I haven't discuss...

 Yes, yes.  My day turns into candy canes, memories of family visits, camping in the UP  and butter pecan icecream when the weather is gentle. .  And yesterday the weather was perfect.  The back of my legs are in a bit of good pain, a result of stooping and raking and pulling stuff from the flowerbeds and a garden that needed to  have it's spring clean.  What a gift...good pain. OOPS! The "little" project got a little bit bigger than I had planned.  That's a yearly good sense problem.   There is much left on the to do list.  Might be a project for the Michigan Carmel kids all 9 to have a hand in.  Pansies got planted in two pots,  Woo, woo.  It was a lovely unstuck wonderful weather day.   Stella stayed in the garage.  For a few of you all...Yes...Stella Stroller is the walker that appeared in my hospital room at some point.  She is such a good friend who is always ready and who keeps me going.....

 I'm making a huge attempt to move from the stuck to unstuck world.  The shopping trip alone was the first unstuck event. I have been thinking about knitting again.  Yesterday I unstuck myself and started a hat that make my gloves look like they belong, not orphans.    A long talk with the Michigan family last night and there is a trip planned to Indy coming really soon.  That will be another unstuck event.  It's moving back into those old good feeling activities that will prove that unsticking is happening.  Being stuck does not feel good. Yesterday I was so aware that my surgery sites are becoming just faint back round noises.  That is a blessing.  Yes...a few spots are still with me but I really can say that life is becoming unstuck from them.  So...today forward thinking about what I can control and forward thinking knowing there is a whole lot I cannot control.  Just LET IT GO!   Humm...Was there a movie??? Lots ...

 There seems to be not much happening lately.  Jared would say...same old same old.  I should be happy about that but it would seem that is my struggle.   Life is happening but slowly for now.  Breath, breath.  The phone call happened but this time the Doctor's Office called with a plan.   Still looking it seems to be.  So...we're back into mammograms.  Another one scheduled for Monday the 22nd.  The hunt continues.  This little evasive spot continues to be evasive.  We'd like to find the hider.   After the phone call I decided it was time to get on with grocery shopping by myself.  It was a short trip to Meijers for coupon purchases, short trip to see Kat and the boys who live near by and then home. I might call those visits the mental health plan.   Ran the sweeper and then it was a quiet afternoon of recuperation.  The rest of the week looks pretty much a no plan week.  It might b...

 Lots of time to think early this morning after listening to my friend Christopher at Sec. Presbyterian Church once again around 3 am.  Perhaps I should have skipped the Iphone event but I didn't.  His Lenten series of sermons are called Relent...in this case letting go of many things that might  control our lives  but should be released or relented.   This morning my mind spun with ideas of...camping, visiting Mi. family and more.   No...I need to let go of that exercise.  Someone else is in charge of the plans for the coming months.  Those wished for planning exercises will come to me in due time.  It's time once again to Relent and then someday it will be time to  recharge for the rest of life given to me.   Yesterday, Stella was with me for a longer walk.  The outside air was so refreshing.  I had a nice talk visit with a neighbor.  Doug and I did a grocery store visit.  My neighbor, on mo...

 There is a connection in name and maybe more.  I have a Sarah as well.  She called yesterday.  Why didn't I think to call her.  Sarah is a Cathedral Singers Church Choir Friend.  She get's capital letters.  Sarah is an alto and often would sit beside me when we rehearsed..  She usually was late to practice, coming in and quietly taking her seat pulling out her supper to eat while we rehearsed.  Why was she late.  Why did she eat.  Sarah is a nurse working at I U North with cancer patients.  She loves her patients wanting to make the best life she can for them.  How many years has she done this?  I don't know but I suspect many.  At a point not to long ago, Sarah decided the time had come to make a job change.  She took 2 weeks off and now is working at the same hospital with cancer as a focus in clinical trials.  Sarah loves her work. She is good at it.  She called yesterday asking many questions....

 An acceptable amount of sleep.  As some of you know, my brother-in-law, Doug's brother is a Catholic Priest living as a monk at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit at Conyers Georgia. .  His day is centered around prayer, the first being at 4 in the morning.  I could attend that prayer service on many of the days of the week.  All my life I have been an early riser.  That's who I am.  And that's who I will be. So...today...up early at 4, shower, surgical spots taken care of, breakfast and the sec. cup of coffee and it's 6:30.  I'll see Doug around 8:30 if I'm lucky!!   The world is full of different people.   No big plans for the day.  Maybe a short trip to my Soup Kitchen friends if there is any trip out.  No promises made so no promises broken.  Two big whoops for yesterday...lettuce seeds  in the ground.  Easy job and yes...I could be way to early.  But...maybe not.  Gardening is my gambling ...

 Yes.CAPITAL Letters  make the title even more interesting.  Last night was a great night so the morning is really good.  It was a 7 hr sleep night still in two chairs but the 7 is considered the all important number.  It has been almost 6 weeks since Feb. 1 and the body is saying even with a lot of abuse that came with a 10 hr. surgery on Feb. 1, remember I am healing and will live again to celebrate.  It's those long term healing messages that must be front and center in my memory bank.  Sometimes they get lost. Some stripes are just difficult to change, not impossible but difficult.   Yesterday, from time to time was a gray rainy day.  I pushed Stella out on her walk which I looked forward to but the rain came.  So out came the phone for a call to my steady guy saying...Come and get me...which of course he did.  I could have taken an umbrella and if another gray day comes...one will fit easily into Stella's seat.  But I...

 A little sense came back.  Learning to live with an unhurried life is part of healing...I guess!!!  I'm trying to absorb that.  Doug was off to the barber shop.  Good grief.  There was little hair on top but the face was hidden almost from view.  It would seem that hair has slipped off his head to his jaws.  Soooo...that's how I get a new husband.  Lookin' good Doug.  In two weeks we are back in church for the confirmation of our grandson Andrew.  We've got to get ready to meet the people we know. It's been a year.   My hair do will be a little different but I usually can't see it.  So it will be a new me being introduced.  A healthier me.  I'm just another bald Russell.   My last session with MR. PT guy brought graduation.  Another trip around the block with Stella brought a wonderful meeting with Barb who drove by in her car.  Woo...I got the neighborhood up dates of which there were m...

 I did it again.  Learning to live with a compromised body is the assignment that isn't easy.   Not thinking about  consequences brings surprises.   The weather has been wonderful for this time of year.  My walks with Stella, sitting on the patio enjoying the heat of the sun, watching the birds at the feeders and trying to outsmart the squirrel, setting the trap for the chipmunk...yes...I saw one of those.  Such good entertainment. The bad decision  part came while looking for crocus and Lenten Rose flowers.  They seem to be hiding under stuff that could be removed.  And I assigned myself the job of finding them.  There are many flowers to find..  All of the surgeries are on the right side of my body.  The right hand holds the clippers...Get it???.   Bet you do.  All together I did about 10 minutes of clipping and gathering.  NOT good.  The hot shower felt so good and I took a couple...

 The past months have brought a whole lot of new.  Thinking about the past 82 years...did I think all the recent new would be a part of living?  Of course not.  One  could accept or reject all the twists and turns that seem to be on the path lately.  I choose to see what the journey will be and where does it take me.  Life is an adventure. I'm looking for flowers.   My night time adventure is certainly a new one.   I've discovered the Iphone.  I visit with many people interested in birds.  There are so many bird   questions and answers.  Another site takes me to wonderful classical music options.  I've heard a lot of good music sometimes putting me to sleep.  That's an added blessing.  And I will add a third.  Christopher Harvey, minister at Sec. Presbyterian Church, Indianapolis is a place I cannot do without.  His series of sermons for Lent are titled ReLent.  His crafting of ...

 This week something should be coming.  I don't know what it will be or when it will be but I think something will be coming.  I think it will come via a phone call.  I must be ready what ever the something will be.  So...that's the challenge for both Doug and I.  The something is related to the Friday MRI with the  message for the next part of healing.  Has the site for the beginning cancer been found.  I'm feeling a bit off center on this one and I need to center myself.  I must think good.   Sunday was literally a day of rest as it should be.  Stella and I were out walking, Ann came by with yummy chili soup.  Learning to lean of this kind of support given by so many friends has challenged my independent nature.   My friends know me well.   Lesson learned for now.  Friends are helping me to share the load bringing comfort and peace so  healing can continue.   Doug's challenge ...

 Yesterday was what I would call an ODD DAY.  I would suspect that it's what the surgeon called a day of fog that is often a part of healing..  Maybe it was a day to power down as well.  I was told there would be those kind of days.  I did a wonderful job of sitting and doing nothing and the hours just continued to go by with none of my help.  The sleep of Fri. night continued with a nap here and there.  Stella did get me out of the house for a once around the block and I asked Doug to take me with him on a field trip to the drug store.  Those never ending trips continue to be made.  The ODD part continued through the night with  much of it awake.  Perry Kea visited me with his Sunday morning Bible Study and I heard some wonderful music by way of the I phone. I would suspect it's the ODD part of getting well with parts of my body still a bit biffed about all the actions of Feb. 1.  Poor thing.  I'll not spend to much time ...

 There is light in the window.  It is such a dependable light coming every morning..  It would be noted as a light from a dependable God.  Another day of blessing to come after yesterday's events that were more than expected.  The morning concluded with a walk around the block checking out the neighborhood, once more with Stella the Stroller.  She has a seat for a tired walker with room under that seat for all kinds of things. My Iphone and Kleenex are often stored there.  There might be a picture out there.   The Breast MRI came next...another trip to IU North Hospital.  It's just a 12 minute drive.  I had two wonderful ladies to guide me through the process which was a bit different than head MRI's.  But never the less, I persisted and the 25 minute process was completed with music from Vivaldi and Strauss piped in.  I so appreciated their positive kind words during the process and I made sure that my gratefulness f...

 It's peaking through the bare tree branches once again.  Such a reminder that today will be another day to walk and enjoy looking for spring things.  It's time to add blooming Lenten Roses to the plants that are reminders that warmer days are coming.   That's a sure sign that winter is creeping away slowly but surely.  I'm happy to say that our internet problems seem to be over and done.  New outside wiring needed to happen to this old house in an old addition.  The completion of that task at 7 pm by the tech guy was a blessing that helped with entertainment during the night hours as I moved from chair to chair.  Little was he aware of my entertainment need.     Already this morning breakfast is past, Texting with grandson Adam and son Eric has been completed and I'm about to breath the fresh air of the morning as another trip to the mailbox happens to retrieve the paper.  Then my brain exercise of the morning such as it ...

 Another morning of sunshine.  It is such a gift  bringing tears when walking to the mailbox to collect the paper of the day.  Clear crisp air with the quiet of the morning being interrupted only by bird songs.  I owe the Lord a morning song...What a healer of the mind and body when the heat of the sun calls for another walk around the block later today. Another goal for the day.  My home health care nurse will be here later this morning.  One visit a day from the team of health workers works the best for me.  I will be getting graduation papers with the next visit from all of them..  Six weeks of care.  I'm on it! This afternoon we should have a fixit person here helping our internet connection toward reliability.   Some of the old equipment will be exchanges for new.  That's another "headache' being remedied.  The old life continues.  New equipment brings better dependable connections with family.  I need ...

 Yesterday's doctor visit with Dr. James Miller Neuro surgeon has completed another round of visits with all the surgeons.  There is only one last Dr. Moore follow up in two months..  The doctors are very, very happy with the process of healing.  That's a thanksgiving.  One wish from  me was to have a descriptive record of what happened Feb. 1 during that long day of surgery.  Records came from all the surgeons.   IU and IU Methodist are teaching hospitals.  I'm so proud of that.  I learned that a resident neuro surgeon was part of Dr. Miller's team.  I was happy to be a part of his learning experience.   I learned...The day evolved around a plan made by Dr. Moore and others..  He and his ENT team did their part removing the tumor.  Then the neuro surgeon's team moved in and they did an invasion of the bone under the tumor making sure that that area received a healthy repacked to protect the brain .  Th...

 Yesterday was a slow day.  It was a good day.  Morning naps were good.  Checking on the beautiful blooming purple crocus was a treat.  Looking for life in the garden took some time.  Horseradish is waiting.  And adding fake forsythia to the pussy willow branches pushed the dining room into bloom.  It was a brisk walk around the block again with Stella Stroller...what a friend.   Now for the story.  It would seem that the past months have seen more than enough deaths, illness and just general distress among our church family.  Another one was noted in our church e-mails yesterday. A distant cousin Clyde has been hospitalized.    Angie was added to that list a few months ago.   Angie, the mother of 4 children, some the ages of our Carmel grandsons was diagnosed with breast cancer.  At first it seemed to be not so serious, but that changed dramatically.  Angie's family along with two other families a...

 When I look at the calendar the number 1 indicating the first day of March, I remember  the 1 that went with February.  It's been 4 weeks since my life has changed a bit.  I'm aware that my body is still a bit biffed about surgery but with help moving on toward more healing.   I've discovered that ice bags are a favorite of very tight muscles that have been assaulted where lymph nodes were removed.  Ice packs  relaxes those muscles. The ability to feel heat and cold is a bit lacking so I need to be careful.  But finding relief for tight muscles is a gift from God.  Yesterday's message from the pulpit was about giving support to those who need healing.  Darren talked about the man who was carried to Jesus for healing.  The story of the roof being opened and the man lowered to Jesus by his friends. I remember when small the visual picture that came thinking about the crowd.    The support of friends was an important pa...